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| Jesus & the Robber One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, ''Jesus is watching you!''while he rummaged through the desk. He replied, ''Who said that?!'' Once again he heard the same thing, ''Jesus is watching you!'' The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, ''Cornelius.'' The robber said, ''What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!'' The parrot said, ''The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!'' |




| 10 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Dog 1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public. 2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older. 3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair. 4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health. 5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute. 6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours. 7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff. 8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner.You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault. 9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back. 10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you. |








| Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? |


| The End! Call us soon! 813-900-4939 |
| Awww, c'mon! We just want to TASTE him... |
| Move your mouse over his mouth to see the frog smile |
| Are YOU talkin to ME??? |

| Is the photo below a frog, or a horse. Watch closely. Please be patient, as it moves slowly... |

| World's Biggest Dog Hercules was recently awarded the honourable distinction of World's Biggest Dog by Guinness World Records. Hercules is an English Mastiff and has a 38 inch neck and weighs 282 pounds. With "paws the size of softballs" (reports the Boston Herald), the Three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed's Standard 200lb. Limit. Hercules owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules Weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet: "I fed him normal food and he just grew".... And grew. And grew. And grew. |
| World's Smallest Dog At 6 inches long and less than 2 pounds, Brandy the chihuahua is the world's smallest dog, and right here in Tampa Bay. Brandy is so small, she's not allowed on her owner's sofa -- for fear she'd be injured if she jumped off. |









| This page just cracks me up |









| What part of "BE QUIET" did you not understand? |
EXCERPTS FROM! A CAT'S DIARY DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplantDAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.... _____________________________________________________ EXCERPTS FROM! A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 PM - boohoo…. bath. bummer. 4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! |



| What's in there? |



| See, they DO watch T.V.... |



Yes, they ARE baby skunks! Once a mama, always a mama! Isn't that the sweetest thing? (except maybe the smell) |












| Everyone wants to be a dog... |





| The light at the end of the tunnel... |





